Month: April 2015

CHAPTER 4: COME DUE FRAGOLE

CHAPTER 4: COME DUE FRAGOLE

Once my eyes  opened the following morning after I slept like a princess, the largest amount of joyful feelings erected my body from a sleepy state pulling me upwards within a split second because that evening was going to be the singing competition of Palbert Music.

Over the months I have seen how Giaco and Marko have been busy with the contestants and how this singing contest with all of its contestants competed until it was time on this final day for the winner to sing from his or her heart for their place to win. I did not know the contestants at all but I knew that somehow the finalists would be incredible because Marko and Giaco were the judges. They have incredible passion for music and not just any music but music only from the highest and greatest sounds, lyrics and melodies.

Once I had my first cup of coffee, I had this yearning and burning sensation to treat myself to some pampering for the day. I decided while dancing to the music on the radio in my bedroom and with gratitude bursting from my heart, that I want to go for a haircut, do my nails and of coarse to buy a new outfit for the event that had to take place that very evening.

Moments after I took a shower I was dressed, with my IPod in my ears and off again into the elegant streets of Milan, dancing while walking and smiling compassionately at all of the people I passed. Once I reached the corner of Piazza del Duomo and Via Torino, I peacefully waited for the cars and a tram to pass while the song “Apple bottom jeans” by T-Pain began to play in my ears. I gently shook my hips to the beats of the song when the heads of the citizens turned and even the driver of the tram turned his head and smiled with the brightest amusement because of my openly expressive example of joy and vitality I presented, being exactly who I am, wherever I am. Once I noticed the joyful smile of the tram driver and his on-going stare, almost breaking his neck with his head turning more backwards while driving past me, I kindly smiled at the gentleman, gave my head a bow of recognition and a greeting and continued to skip joyfully down Via Torino towards Ronchi78 with the intent to ask Giaco where I could possibly find a hairdresser.

Waltzing into Ronchi78 swiftly only to find Giaco already behind the bar counter was as usual a delightful sight. “Buongiorno Giaco, where can I go to get my hair cut?” I asked him curiously and filled with hope. Giaco said something fast to Massimo and Massimo informed me that there are hairdressers everywhere. All I had to do was to walk down the street because there were in fact many hairdressers. I guess that the first period I spent in Milan I was more focused on helping the children and businesses to grow and also giving the homeless food and blankets with notes of inspiration that I had neglected to truly pay attention to the shops in the streets.
“Ok.” I said to Giaco and Massimo. I then decided to first have a café and left Ronchi shortly afterwards, on a mission to go and find a hair salon.

As I walked down the busy streets of Milan I noticed quite a few Salons, yet all of them were too busy when I asked for their services. Luckily I found a salon that was willing to assist to my roots and ends immediately. I could not explain to them that I have four crowns on my head and that any funny haircuts will send my hair in different types of directions daily, but I did manage to explain to them that I would appreciate it if they could possibly cut only my ends and my fringe.

An entire cutting of my ends, fringe a blow and 50€ later, I was off again walking peacefully on a slow hunt for an outfit.
I purchased a beautiful white sweater and a shirt for the evening; I was going to attend the event in an elegant buttoned shirt, some original Levi jeans and boots. I did ask to Giaco the dress code and he did inform me that it was plain and elegant.

After my eventful morning and some retail therapy I re-entered Ronchi78. Giaco browsed through my bags as usual and offered me some tea. At that time it was just after 15:00 and Ronchi was about to close for the afternoon only to reopen in the evening.
I felt quite exhausted after my morning events and quickly returned back to my apartment to relax after I drank my tea and greeted Giaco until I would see him in the evening.

Time flew by quickly and I was busy pampering myself again. I took a long shower allowing the water to gently flow over my skin, afterwards I walked around in a towel while doing my make-up, curling my hair and finally I got dressed. I decided for the finishing touch that I would wear the perfume that Marko’s mother bought for me during my first stay in Milan.

When I found myself again I was already out and about again into the street trying to find the venue and decided to rather take a taxi and let the driver find the street and my desired location. Sadly the venue was at the school of the boys and almost right around the corner of my apartment. I was somewhat disappointed because I could have walked instead of wasting 20€ to take me from my apartment to the venue that was not even half a kilometer away from me, well perhaps half a kilometer, perhaps even a little more but the fact I am trying to make is that it was not far.  I was not exactly disappointed because I had to spend the money, I was disappointed in myself for never pausing and recording the street name where I had at times collected the sons of Marko from school situated close to a certain park where we also practiced and played large amounts of calcio over a period of 6 months during my first stay in Milan. I felt like a complete imbecile. Luckily it was drizzling a little outside and even though I had known exactly what the street name and where the venue was, I would have taken a taxi either way because I did not spend an hour and a half of my time to curl my hair with my curling iron, only to have it ruined by a short walk and a drizzle of water from the heavens.

Once the driver was satisfied with his payment, I walked into this school I remember being in a few months earlier. The boys, Elena an I was there on a Friday afternoon the last time I was at that school, we were helping to decorate the school for a festival the children had the following Saturday morning. I could remember that day so clearly while I was walking and following the directions that had been placed for the guests to find their way to the event. Finally when I reached the door, I noticed a table and Giaco’s brother was seated behind it to collect the entrance fee that was about 10€. After I paid and bought a wine that was served in a see through plastic cup,  Giaco walked hastily towards me and signalled me to follow him. I kindly obeyed and followed his trail when I noticed that he was showing me where to sit, in the back, close to the judges table of him and Marko and also with Marko’s family and friends. I also noticed that every chair had a voting paper on it for the guests to vote for the best contestant throughout the evening.
I felt quite excited, sipping peacefully on my wine, greeting everyone as well as Marko’s twin brothers, everybody was peaceful and pleasantly kind, as well as expectant for the event that had to take place within moments.

Some of Marko and Giaco’s friends also came over to greet me with such enthusiasm, the couple who are Architects. I absolutely adore them, they have always been such beautiful and friendly people, always smiling and joyful.
After the mingle and greetings we all began to settle ourselves in our seats while the song “The final countdown” by Europe began to play in my mind.
I had absolutely no idea what to do with the little judging paper, I wrote comments onto it throughout the evening and thought that it must be so difficult being a judge for a singing contest, especially if one has such an indecisive mind such as my own.
After the first part of the competition, everyone took a short pause while I decided to remain peacefully seated until everyone had moved away from their seats. I did not like to move around within masses, I preferred to move around peacefully and gracefully within my own space.

While remaining seated, I glanced around towards my left and saw that Marko who had been seated by the long judges table, stood up and walked into my direction. Once I felt him close to me I forgot to breathe and felt his hands touching and playing softly with my hair while he then moved away gently again towards the gathering crowd glancing towards me and smiling charmingly while he walked.
I realized at that moment that Giaco most probably informed him that I had gone to the hairdresser earlier that day. Marko was so sweet; his touch was very gentle and soft. He always had a way of showing me that he paid very close attention to me without ever having to say a word. He was truly the most unpredictable, charming and eccentric man I have ever met. The way he gracefully moved with his perfect posture like a gentleman kept me fascinated. Simply observing him amused me and filled me with incredible joy. With his thick dark brown air, always perfectly styled on his head, his dark brown eyes and Tuscany olive toned skin, his elegant suits resembling “Al Pacino”, he was exceptionally attractive. I adored him very much and trusted him with my entire heart.

After the short break, everyone returned to their seats for the competition to continue. This was when I decided to exit my seat, to get another glass of wine and I then heard the most beautiful voice echoing from the stage.  A young, blond and very attractive man began to perform and that was it for me. The gentleman had to win. Sadly, after I began to play detective, asking curiously what his name was to give him the winning mark on my little judging paper, I sighed sadly and full heartedly when I was informed that he was already a known singer and was only a guest performer at the competition. All I could do was to admire his voice, sigh once more and continued to listen to the contestants that followed after he sang with passion and shared his talent with the guests.

For some strange reason I could not find myself to sit still any longer. I stood up from my seat all of the time that followed, standing by a pillar to listen to the contestants while gently keeping my eyes closed. While I kept my eyes closed, I felt a very odd sensation, I felt hatred was pressing onto my shoulders and I reopened my eyes to find the source. I saw Elena standing with a camera in her hand glancing my way with such hatred and jealousy; it was rather frightening to see. I kindly smiled back at her. I did not particularly know why she had such hatred towards me, I helped her children to grow and to be healthy again, normal reaction is to be grateful, not exactly hateful and jealous or deceitful. The best response to any negative person or situation is a continuation of kindness and compassion. We all have our weaknesses and when openly admitted, change can enter for growth. Her stares and flaming fury in her face did not particularly affect me at all, I am always kind and joyful inside of my heart and outwards in my actions, for me her abnormal behaviour was like water off of a ducks back.

After the second phase of the competition, there was yet another pause, our little judging papers were collected and the judges left to enter a different room to make their final decision.
All of the guests once again stood up and moved towards the drinks table while I preferred to rather stay seated again. Many of the contestants were walking around and talking to the guests when I noticed that a lady that had been one of the contestants by the name of Minara who was dressed in a beautiful black and peach evening gown was walking hastily over to where I was sitting with the intent to speak to guests who were sitting a few seats away from me.
Once she tried to pass me, she bumped into me and instead of apologizing, she looked down to me and gave me a very cruel and disapproving glance as if saying to me with her eyes “How dare you bump into the winner if this competition?”. I sat in shock when I saw her expression while she continued to move past me and I thought that if her name have not been called to be the winner and already she treat complete strangers with disrespect and cruelty and also think that she is better than people, then if she had to win Palbert music was doomed.

A true artist and as we all know, the most successful and famous performers of all times were humble and kind to whomever they came into contact with, wild, fun, and most of the time crazy as well as down to earth because music were and are their passion, not a job to claim only wealth, status and fame.   

After that Minara contestant’s unacceptable character highly intrigued and shocked me, I was really becoming interested and very worried at the same time, I could not wait to know who the winner of the competition was going to be but I was also frightened to know that that Minara character would win. I finally had great expectation to see how the competition would end because I obviously had to write a blog post about the evening and if that Minara contestant had to win, what else could I write except for the truth with perhaps a lot of tact, no it would not have been a beautiful blog post.

Finally after many moons, ehehehehehe only kidding, after the intense wait, Marko, Giaco and the other judges made their way back to give the presenter lady their final answers. 4th place was called, 3rd place was called, second place was called and finally the winner of Palbert music competition Christian Romano’s name was called. Oh I was so happy and relieved; I stood up and clapped my joyful little hands so hard that it was slightly red afterwards. I was really relieved, phew.
After Christian’s name was called he looked so happy and grateful, oh it was beautiful to see gratitude, I was so happy for this contestant. He was also then given the microphone and was asked to play his song “Come due fragole” for the audience and he did so and sang passionately from his heart and with great gratitude. I took a video because I had to place it onto the blog. It was truly a beautiful, strange, interesting and a slightly stressful evening. I truly appreciated the invitation.

Shortly after Christian Romano sang passionately from his heart, I saw Elena glancing my way once again; this time with more hatred and her face was flaming red. I was really frightened to even try and understand how much negative emotions she possessed inside of her and continued to give her a warm, kind and compassionate smile. It did not exactly work well; my kindness appeared to make her more furious, what was she planning this time? Did she want me to walk over to her and ask her what her problem was so that it appear that I try make a scene? Oh no, her sabotaging games did not particularly work well with me, I prefer to stay kind under any circumstance no matter how difficult it may be at times.
I did not particularly care to be honest, if people have hatred, lies and deceit stored inside of them it is not my responsibility, it is my right and my choice to continue to remain peaceful, honest and joyful with the satisfying knowledge that truth will always be revealed, never question when, but it most certainly will.

After the hate stare moment towards me followed with a kind smile moment from me, all of the guests were gathering around congratulating the contestants and the winner, I was standing around with everyone too for a change but I felt somewhat odd and bored because the handful of people I knew were all in deep conversation with others so I felt a little out of place and decided to make my move back to Ronchi78 to sit peacefully in my corner.

The walk back to Ronchi was serene, it was not drizzling anymore and the distance from the venue to Ronchi was not far at all, plus I could wink at the Duomo quickly while passing it and feel the great amount of unconditional love for the Cathedral and my unwavering faith.
I finally entered Ronchi, it was so full with guests my table in the corner was occupied and I felt sad. All that I could do was to stand in front of the bar counter. I kindly ordered a glass of wine from Massimo, and I wondered why he was not a contestant at the Palbert music competition and I felt somewhat sad. Massimo always sang so passionately in Ronchi, music is his life. A few moments later Marko, Giaco and many more people entered Ronchi including the lady who had been the presenter for the competition. The lady who presented the competition was the center of attention in Ronchi it appeared but I continued to sip on my wine not knowing exactly what was happening but staying peaceful within the moment and in front of the bar counter simply observing everything and everyone. Marko disappeared into the kitchen side of Ronchi while Giaco and everyone else took a seat at a long table in front of me. Marko returned gracefully speaking to a gentleman and when he passed me I quickly gave to him the little gift bag with his 310€ inside of it. He took it very quickly from me, placed it into his pocket and walked outside, only to return moments later where he looked at me  strangely like he did not understand me at all and took a seat right in front of me with his back facing towards me. A chair was left open on his right hand side and I wondered why a chair is always open and vacant on his right hand side. I stood by the bar counter a little confused and decided that I should rather go home and sleep. I wanted to speak to Marko about the book publication career but as usual he was surrounded by so many people and I had no desire to speak to him while many other people’s voices penetrated my ears while speaking to him openly and clearly. Right at that moment I decided that I will not speak to him about anything and that I will simply find my own way to proceed with my dreams by myself and so I did.

“Marilette.” Marko called out my name looking at me over his shoulder. I looked at him and once again he seemed like he was gathering courage to ask me what he wanted to ask. “Do you want to sit and eat something?” he asked sheepishly pointing towards the vacant chair next to him. “No thank you” I said kindly and smiled and he had a shock on his face.
I felt bored and tired and Marko had the presenter lady there that could entertain him and make him laugh, I really just wanted to talk to him and it was not possible so I was sleepy and still had to write a blog post before I could rest.
Marko appeared to be very upset and I looked around for a moment at everyone in Ronchi and took the exit out of the door very fast. I did not understand him, I did not reject him either, I was simply not impressed having an audience when I wanted to sit and peacefully talk to him.

As usual, I strolled past Piazza Duomo, I then went to Leonardo da Vinci statua and then I took a pleasant stroll back to my apartment. Once I entered my apartment the first thing I did was to switch on my computer. I knew that Marko and Giaco expected me to write about the evening and so I did.
I mentioned everything about the evening, from the beginning to the end and I also included the contestant with her not so spiritually evolved character, the one who looks down upon others thinking that she is better than everyone. I also posted the video I took of the winner Christian who sang his song “Come due fragole” at the end of the competition and loaded it up onto YouTube and then again onto the blog. It was in fact a lovely evening, a little strange, exciting, beautiful, confusing but still wonderful.
My only concern was the behaviour of Marko because I truly could not understand his behaviour at the time. Out of all predictable human behaviour in this world, his behaviour was completely unpredictable.
After I published the blog post I laid and pondered about Marko for a while, my thoughts then drifted away from him and I thought about what I had to do the following day.
What I had planned for my next day in Milan did not yet exist in my thoughts so all I did was to peacefully get undressed and jumped underneath the covers only to drift off into a beautiful, deep and serene sleep.

The following morning I awoke knowing that it was time for me to proceed alone with my dreams, to write this world into a more beautiful, compassionate, caring, generous and peaceful place, filled with truth, integrity and unconditional love. If Marko had no time or intention to even find a moment to sit an peace and speak to me then I had no option but to proceed without him, giving up on my dreams was never and have never been an option.

I sat upwards in bed, collected my laptop and opened the manuscript for my first unpublished book. I began to read again through my manuscript to edit and perfect it. I was in bed all of the day editing, only until my stomach began to roar at me like a hungry lioness. I chose to pause, get some fresh air, take a lovely walk and go to the supermarket to buy some food to cook for myself.  I gracefully ran down into the cold wearing only my coat, snow boots and my purse and in search for a supermarket closer to me than Billa in Via Torino. Luckily I found a little supermarket right down the street from me and I bought some wine, some salad ingredients and some steak. Luckily my apartment had a stove top, not an oven unfortunately but I could easily prepare a beautiful salad and some grilled Steak with the stove top.
After I cooked and ate I returned to bed at once to continue to edit. I did this for a few days until one morning I awoke and I had this odd magnet pull when Ronchi78 entered my thoughts again. I realized that that evening the football team was going to be in Ronchi and that everyone might have been concerned about where I was. I decided at that moment to get done and ready and to pass by Ronchi over lunch and then of course to purchase chocolates as well as biscotti for the football team and then return to Ronchi in the evening to spend some time with the football team.

The stroll past the Duomo was once again magical and exhilarating. A symbol of true faith and unconditional love.

With my entrance into Ronchi in the afternoon, Giaco sighed with great relief when he saw me and he had an expression on his face like he had many questions weighing on his heart.
I went and sat peacefully on the 4-seater table in front of the bar close to the kitchen side of Ronchi. I had some tea once again while Giaco seated himself in the 2-seater table next to me and directly next to the kitchen facing his body towards me. “Vuvu?” Giaco asked curiously. “Yes Giaco.” I responded kindly. “Where you eat last night?” he asked with a worried tone in his voice. I realized at that moment that he was concerned if I have been eating or where I have been eating because I have not been in Ronchi for a sum of days. “I bought food and cooked at home Giaco.” I told him with a peaceful tone in my voice hoping that his concern would fade. “What did you eat Vuvuzela?” he asked curiously. “I ate some steak and salad and drank some wine.” I informed him. “You cook yourself?” Giacomo asked with an amused look on his face. “Si Giaco.” I answered and witnessed a sigh of relief flowing over him, He nodded, approving of my answer and continued to sit and look at me with a grin.
“Vuvu.” Giaco continued. “Si Giaco.” I kindly responded, wondering what was weighing on his heart. “So where you go now?” Giaco continued. “I do not know.” I answered and completely puzzled by Giaco’s question. The confusion showed in my face and Giaco continued… “You go and live in London now?” he asked jokingly. “I don’t know Giaco.” I replied completely and hopelessly confused with his questions.

I knew that Marko was very upset with me because I did not want to have dinner or sit with him after the music competition. He perhaps felt rejected, but I did not reject spending time with him, I was bored with the continuous circumstance I found myself in with him. He was always surrounded by so many people and I really did not like talking to him with his audiences because he liked to make a scene in front of his friends and it did not amuse me at all, he had an inability or fear to approach me and to simply sit and talk to me in private. When I wanted to speak to him I wanted to confide in him, not with his audiences present. I know that Marko was so angry with me to a point where he wanted to pretend again that he did not care where I am or what I do and to show me and tell everyone to show me that he does not care. I simply accepted and made my own plans to move forward because everything is possible with prayer. I was also upset with him therefore I did not truly care if he did or does not care.

Giaco luckily stopped with his odd questions in which I knew he was trying to tell me something and also fishing to tell Marko where I was headed because he does care.
“The cat and dog sit on the roof and it is snowing, but the cat and dog no like snow.” Giaco said to me smiling, letting me hear that he had been studying English since I have been gone. “HA ha ha ha ha ha ha…” I roared with laughter because Giaco was being adorable. “You speak good English now Giaco, where did you learn?” Giaco could not answer my last question in English and asked Massimo to answer for him and Massimo explained to me clearly that Giaco have been studying English with a private tutor. I smiled with such gratitude because I was so proud of Giaco at that moment, in this remarkable world and this beautiful life, we keep on learning and continue to grow wiser, more intelligent and more spiritually enlightened and Giaco had proven that he was growing.
I felt after my episode of gratitude with the growth and progress of Giaco that it was time for me to leave Ronchi with the intent to buy some snacks for my football team for the evening, “Is the football team coming to Ronchi tonight Giaco?” I asked for confirmation. “Yes Vuvu, where you go now?” he asked with a grin knowing my answer. “I am going to buy chocolates and biscotti for tonight.” I answered Giaco sheepishly. Giaco nodded his head in approval, “See you later Vuvu.” he said smiling. “Ok ciao Giaco.” I said and left Ronchi gracefully on my way to Billa in Via Torino.

The rest of the beautiful afternoon after I had done my shopping for the blessed football team, I once again found myself waltzing through the park of Castello, sat by Leonardo da Vinci statua and also sat inside of the Duomo to feel serene. There was something incredible about the magnificent Duomo di Milano. When I studied with my sight its marble carved scriptures of faith, my heart fluttered with the purest feelings of joy and peace given by Heaven itself. The stories and remembrance of true faith, unconditional love and all of the good and pure acts born from the tree of life. Somehow when I entered the Duomo, I enter a state of true serenity and gratitude and I find myself floating down the aisles of the Duomo, rest on a bench and begin to pray. Every time after I was inside of the Duomo, I left and felt recharged, filled with new hope and faith, knowing in my heart that all is and will be well and I need not feel any concern.

Time passed so quickly after I left the Duomo to rest for a while in my apartment before I was once again on my way to Ronchi to spend time with my football team. Moments passed once more and I entered the streets of Milan again walking from my apartment, looking like a princess and feeling filled with confidence, compassion and generosity.

When I entered Ronchi, I placed the chocolates in the chocolate box on the bar counter and the biscotti on the table where the football team had already been seated. Marko was looking at me most of the evening with intense emotion in his eyes, it seemed like he was in a serious inner battle with himself, restraining himself from jumping up and leaping forward towards me, his eyes were glossed with emotion, it appeared as if his eyes were filling up every passing moment that he looked at me with tears. Most of the evening when I directed my attention at Marko when I felt him staring at me with such intensity, I really could not understand him. I wondered why he could not find the courage to stand up in confidence, walk over to me and tell me what was going on in his mind because for me it was a puzzle.

I was sitting next to Giovanni most of the evening, informing him about all that I have done in South Africa before I returned to Milan. At times Giovanni was shocked, other times he roared with laughter and at certain moments he showed sadness. I told Giovanni everything about my first book I have written and so he offered to me his email address for me to email to him my book so that he could read it.
I was delighted sharing with him all I have done and I also felt more excited in my heart because I knew that my next step was to find a publishing company to become published and I knew in my soul that it was only the beginning of my publishing career and that I still had a long way to go but if one has a dream, hang on to it, believe and pass every obstacle that comes along with it, even if you have to crawl over it but never give up!!!

At the end of the evening I was once again seated on the 4-seater table with Massimo close to the ancient till while Marko and some of his friends were playing some cards on the table next to the entrance of Ronchi. Marko was seated next to the door facing my way while Massimo and I sang songs together and laughed with joy. I sang “Under my umbrella” by Rihanna, while Massimo tried to play the melody of the song on his acoustic guitar.
Marko did not look like he was paying attention to the card game at all. At that particular moment he stared at me with an expression on his face that I will never forget in my entire life. He sat in a way with his posture leaning towards me and with his right leg in place as if he was ready to leap forward towards me with a heartbroken and yearning expression on his beautiful face and once more his eyes filled with so much emotion that it appeared that he was going to cry. Even though my heart could not understand him, my heart could feel exceptional large amounts of love and also see it.
After a few moments I felt uncomfortable, I could not stand to see Marko in such a state that also appeared like he was in deep pain within his heart, and why? I did not know. I stood up, greeted everyone kindly and left Ronchi very quickly because I felt confused and overwhelmed, also upset and I felt completely lost.

Once I entered my apartment after I ran back towards it, I did not want to think, feel or analyse anything any longer. What I wanted to do and tried to focus upon was to plan the next of my journey to achieve my dreams, but what was the plan? I did not have a plan. With Milan I never had a plan, I have been living only within great leaps of faith, I travelled to a City and I fell hopelessly in love with it. Then I felt so much compassion for the people, I began and tried to help and inspire the hopeless and homeless on the streets and I also fell in love with Ronchi and a family that I only wanted to see grow and to keep on growing, the children, the businesses and Milan as a City itself to the best everyone and the City could be.

The following morning I realized that I had little time left in Milan. I was to depart back to South Africa within days and I was heartbroken. It was a torture for me to leave Milan every time. I was so heartbroken that tears fell down my cheeks and I decided to begin and go into prayer. I said a prayer with a confused heart, asking God why he guides me to Milan and then I have to leave again, my heart was crushed.
I laid on the bed feeling depressed and sorry for myself, humming to the song “All by myself” by Eric Carmen until I received a message on my phone.
The message was from my friend Gaetano in Rome, the same friend I visited the second weekend on my first visit to Italy. “How are you Marilette, where are you?” I read. How Ironic, the most common question people always seem to ask me is where I am. “Was I lost in this world?” I thought and asked myself deep questions before I decided to kindly reply to my friend. “I am in Milan but I will leave back to South Africa soon, how are you?” moments later another message arrived from Gaetano asking, “Do you really want to return to South Africa?”. I sat up on the bed, thinking to myself, “What type of question is that?” and then I wrote honestly back to Gaetano, “No I do not want to leave, I need to find out all of the details to stay in Italy forever and another day.”
After a few moments Gaetano sent me another message saying that he wish for me to visit him so that he can help me with all of the information I needed, to help me to permanently immigrate to Italy. I thought about it for a moment and decided that it was not a bad idea. I had to learn and gather information to stay in my heart forever and another day. I also had to study Italian to be able to speak and write Italian fluently, not just fluently but also to be able to communicate in high vocabulary being able to express my thoughts, my heart and my knowledge.

I felt a little better after I accepted my friend Gaetano’s proposal and his help. At least I had a plan and I felt serene knowing that I had given back to Marko his 300€ with a little interest, the amount he had given me to return back to South Africa after my first stay in Milan.
My time for the moment was completed in Milan and I still had a journey left before I would return to my heart to stay forever. Little did I know that the time and the experiences I was walking into were the teachings of great patience and greater faith. It was a steady progress until it was the right time to manifest all of what I have been working towards.

The morning of my day for departure to Rome, I spent peacefully cleaning my rented apartment and made sure that the lady who had to come to inspect was completely satisfied with the apartment for me to collect my deposit. I left the apartment in a more beautiful state than what I found it. I bought more things and left it there, it was much more equipped than how I found it. I love to add more to places, even if it is not my own, I simply believe to do onto others that you want done to yourself.
Once the lady was satisfied with the apartment and its perfected state, I gave to her the keys with her reassurance that the deposit will be paid into my account within the following two days. I was satisfied, collected my luggage and called a taxi to take me to Milano Centrale to travel to Rome.  Earlier that morning I sent to Giaco a whatsapp message to let him know that I was leaving to go to Rome in the afternoon. He read the message but I received no goodbye or any reply from him.

While I sat waiting for my train to arrive, I wondered if Marko was going to show up out of nowhere and tell me to stay, (Blushing while writing), I know I know, I have silly fantasies at times and strange hopes but it would have been beautiful and magical if it did happen.
Once again I continued to sit waiting for the train and also for him. When the train arrived, I slowly moved towards it while looking around me with false hope, then I held my head high and climbed into the train with my luggage, browsed for my compartment and settled myself and my belongings for my departure.

The journey traveling to Rome from Milan was exceptionally breath-taking, the nature if Italy was absolutely remarkable. I was looking forward to the 3 hour trip and the magnanimous scenery I was going to pass and see. Once the train slowly began to move forward, I know that it was somehow only the beginning, but how long the journey for my return, I did not know.  

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